Love Language
A guest post from my husband….
Every now and then I pick up a book on parenting, particularly ones that focus on bringing up boys. I genuinely believe that boys are just wired differently than girls, and as the man in the house, its up to me to set an example of what it means to be a man. Not always easy! So I thought every now and then I would post on bringing up boys.
So today, I would like to talk about the five love languages. I first read about this in a book by Gary Chapman.
So the five types of love languages:
- Physical touch- you feel loved when someone makes physical contact
- Acts of Service- you feel loved when someone does something for you to help you out
- Receiving gifts- you feel loved when someone gives you something
- Quality time- you feel loved when someone gives you undivided attention and time
- Words of Affirmation- you feel loved when someone verbally expresses how gratefully they are for me.
The idea is that if you show your love in a way that the receiver does not appreciate, then its not going to impact.
Take me-as a guy, physical touch (and more than “just touch”) are always going to be high on my radar, so if the wifey moves in that direction I feel a bond with her. Similarly, I am also one for Words of Affirmation- it means a lot for me to be praised for what I have done.
Now the wifey, well she is more into Acts of Service and Quality time- so she responds when I do things for her and make time to just be with her.
For the boys- I think I understand J. He is very like me, Words of Affirmation and Physical touch. If J gets told off, he will come looking for affirmation later (actually he will say Mum/Dad I love you, looking for a similar response). He also loves hugs and physical touching
For C, not quite so sure. I think that for him it will be quality time. He is starting to note and get upset if he feels that he did not get enough time with me or the wife. As he matures it will hopefully be easier to see.
So why is this important? Well as a father, I want to have a close relationship with my boys now, in their teenage years and as men. By decoding their love language, I can input into their lives and build a bridge that will last throughout their lives. So whether they are boys, teenagers or young men they will always know their father loves them.